Tonight I had cause to open a storage trunk containing fabric remnants, uncut lengths of cloth, used patterns, cabbage--- all the detritus of a life of sewing that goes back to junior high school. I was looking for some black velvet to eke out a piece I'd found already, as I mean to use it to trim a red plaid flannel nightgown I'm making for myself.
I didn't find any more black velvet. I found some brown, and some dark blue . . . and something else. I found that that old trunk was a kind of time capsule, and not necessarily one that made me look back on how things used to be. It made me feel they should be as they used to be and seized my heart to protest that they no longer are.
All those remnants, so bright and unfaded. A lot of the garments I made with them, I still have. Can I fit into them any more? Not for a long time. Are they shabby and worn? Yes. But the smooth, unmarked material in the trunk was calling me back to the days when they were new.
What was I doing then? What was I looking forward to? Whom did I know and love, whom I no longer see, and never will again in this world?
I shook out the uncut lengths of silk, cotton, and wool, and recollected what I'd intended to make of it. Is that all in the past, too? Have I enough future and enough creativity left so it won't go to waste?
Like a heady and bittersweet perfume, hiraeth rose out of that trunk like a mind-altering drug. I'd never before thought of it as a time capsule, still less as a faulty time machine that could wrench me into the past, while at the same time leaving me here. But that's exactly what it was.
5 comments:
It is good to see your blog. I used to follow your blog and the one about your house. Made me smile, and makes me glad we are still friends. I could almost see the materials and smell the fabric. What a treasure to have.I haven't posted anything on my "Curly's Corner" for a very long time. I don't even know if I can still get into the blog. So sad.
I clicked on the link from my blog to yours, and it works, it's still there. You can get into it if you can remember what Gmail address you used for it.
One reason I didn't update for awhile is that the link to a certain podcast went bad, and every time I tried even to view H & H, it took me to the webpage for Widgetserver, I think it was. I wasn't able to find out which item to remove from my layout until I brought up the blog's HTML. Thankfully, I'm able to do that.
I admit I'd known of the problem for a year or two. I got around to dealing with it just this past week.
Beautifully written. And always reading about memories starts my mind and heart off. I have spent almost two years since my husbands death going through pictures, letters, cards and just memories in my mind and heart. All my college papers too. I haven't saved materials just papers and books. God has given hard things in the midst of many blessings.
Nice sentiment. We did that sort of when we downsized from Corporation Street to B Street. Mom had save pieces of fabric from our Junior High skirts and much more. We don't sew anymore...
I'm so glad it's still there! I will have to find my blog and look at it. I'm sore there are -what were they called "widgets"? - that don't work any more.
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