Shedding

Oh, if I ever lose my hair,
If my pate goes bald and bare,
Oh if I ever lose my hair,
Oh, if,
Oh, if,
I won't have to  brush!

I've been getting preliminary scalp twinges the past couple weeks, and the stray hair began floating out now and again for a few days now.  But this past Sunday evening, the shedding began in earnest.

I drove to evening service with the window rolled down, enjoying the wind in my hair (since I soon won't have that for awhile!). In the church parking lot, I ran a brush through my locks to put them back in order, hit a tangle, and a whole bunch of strands came out with it.  Yep, two weeks since the treatment, right on schedule!

Monday morning in the shower, a lot more emerged on my fingers after the conditioner.  I read online a month or so ago about a woman who, when her chemotherapy made her hair come out in the shower, collapsed on the shower floor and cried "for hours" until her husband came and rescued her.  Me, I don't have a husband (unfortunately) and none of my animals, brilliant as they are, have figured out how to work the doorknob.  So I was forced to be philosophical about the phenomenon and just towel-dry my hair as gently as possible and make sure the sheddings didn't clog the drain.

Actually, if I'm going to get horribly upset about all this, it'd be from reflecting on the fact that I've never had the privilege of identifying myself with my looks.  But that'd be a different post.

Upstairs, more strands in the hairbrush, more big wads for the wastebin.  I've also read of women who say their hair came out "in clumps."  Either they don't define clumps the way I do, or my hair's just thinning out hair after hair after hair, all over.  I was expecting to see big patches of scalp right away.  Nope, and thank God for that.  That would be disconcerting.

Until last night I kept my hair bound up in a highly-unfashionable but effective scrunchie.  Last night, I went to SuperCuts and got myself a short pixie cut, as documented by my friend Frieda.*  Transitional stage, as my long hair was starting to feel like an alien creature camped out on my head, but I just can't see myself doing the razor thing.  It reminds me too much of concentration camp prisoners and early church era shorn prostitutes and other shudder-worthy associations.  The new cut looks pretty good and it's too bad I won't get to keep for more than a week or two. 

Tomorrow I go pick up the new wig.  I had more trenchant and funny things to say on this subject, but I spent the whole day hauling river rock out of my west border and turning the compost pile, and I am exhausted.